A Lesson for Dudes: What Adjective NOT to Use
I don't know if its truly colder this winter than it has been the previous four winters we've been living here in Virginny, or if I'm just turning into a hopeless wimp destined for a life in milder climates from here on out, but regardless, I've been pining as of late for some warmer workwear tops. You know, like, supercute sweaters that don't show off my assets too much, but don't make me look like a grandmother.
Today I was out and about and ended up having a little bit of time to burn, so I stopped at a department store to see if there was anything with my name on it in the supercute-high coverage-non-geriatric sweater department. This, in and of itself is not typical of me. I loath to roam a store for wares. I loath to try things on. I loath to look in a commercial mirror under poor lighting, pale and shadowy in all the wrong places. Anywig, I did this despite my general sour nature towards the idea and came home bearing four very fabulous new tops.
I like to do fashion show when I get new things, so Hubs humored me and sat on the bed while I tried on (again) my most recent acquisitions. The last top I put on was by far, the cutest, and Hubs responded with the appropriate "ooohs" and "ahhs". I rewarded his supportive comments by coming in close for hugs and kisses.
This is where things got wrong.
As we stand there, I'm hugging and Hubs is... uh... "pawing" at me while making "nom nom nom" noises, I hear a word. A word I did not like.
It was "knobby".
Fellas, when you're touching on your hot mashed potato of love, describing her (albeit in your sexy voice) as "knobby" does not enchant her. No sir. I would go so far as to describe it in no uncertain terms as a "buzz kill". In an effort to be authentic, do not forge new paths in flattery. It often doesn't work, and I'm sure it hurts your little brains. Stick with "you're pretty", "I really like you", and "I'd rather have you than any one of those victoria's secret supermodels". You'll be doing everyone a favor.
