A Life of Simple Pleasure

Bestie with a Monocle

2012-02-16T12:14:00.000-05:00

Work Distractions

2012-02-10T12:11:00.001-05:00

Two of my co-workers are at another office in Baltimore, so we communicate largely by instant message. We're buds, and their desks are right next to each other, so often times when a funny thing happens in "conversation" I have with one of them, the other instantly knows.

I attempted to capture the sentiment.

I've Had This on Repeat for Almost a Week, Now.

2012-02-10T08:35:00.001-05:00

Sage advice to anyone who gets irritated, enraged, annoyed, and/or overwhelmed by anything.

2012-01-30T10:08:00.000-05:00

“Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things”

Colossians 3:1-2 (NIV 1984).

Simple Truth

2012-01-27T11:56:00.001-05:00

(Source: www.veryloveleigh.blogspot.com)

... and Then THIS Happened.

2012-01-25T18:19:00.001-05:00

I sent a package of Christmas gifties to my folks in Alaska six weeks ago. It didn't arrive, and it didn't arrive, and it didn't arrive... until finally the tracking information said that the address was unfound and it was being shipped back.

And then a month passed.

Within that month, mom tried to find the package, dad tried to find the package, hubs tried to find the package, and I tried to find the package. The only thing more difficult than trying to track a package in return transit to sender, is getting a LIVE postal worker on the phone. Obviously, our efforts weren't fruitful.

This morning, January 25, I got an email with mom with the subject, "OMGGGGGGGGGGGG", and in the body...

Its a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

I waited til a decent hour and then called mom. Once we were done oohing and ahhing over the recovered Christmas gifties, THIS happened.

Memorable Parenting

2012-01-24T16:30:00.002-05:00

I'd like to think that everyone has a handful of memories from their childhood that when they reflect back on are incredulous over the behavior of their parents.

I believe I earned myself a spot like that in Mads' memory today.

Here are the bullet points:

Mads didn't do her laundry despite being told over and over and over and over and over
When Mads finally DID do laundry, she left it in the dryer for three days so I bagged it up and made it temporarily inaccessible to her.
Now she's freaking out. FREAKING. OUT.

She was in rare form this morning. So much so that I was expecting more 'tude this afternoon. But hark! Her rage has melted away and she wrote me a love note apologizing for her freak out? Mads sure does surprise me sometimes. I guess I'll keep her around for awhile yet.

Time for Rawking.

2012-01-24T12:04:00.001-05:00

Beary Good Tunes from adriennewilker on 8tracks.

The Daniel Fast

2012-01-23T18:00:00.000-05:00

We're almost done with day two of The Great Daniel Fast Extravaganza...

and the devil himself is in my belly right now. My booty just BLEW UP the bathroom.

My coworkers smirk at my participation in this, but I'm not going to let my belly get the best of me.

I've always thought of a "fast" as a starvation thing, but I have found that while depravity certainly is the worst ever, I'm not going hungry at all.

Today I've had:
Oatmeal
A cup of peanuts (that is a LOT of peanuts, dang!)
Four dehydrated apricots (in truth, this alone is probably why I blew up the bathroom)
A handful of green pepper spears
A radish (only one because they tend to be gross)
3 baby carrots
4 incredibly stupid cups of tea (but no more teabag explosions! Huzzah! I think I'm getting the hang of this!)

Here's what makes me so mad about tea: I'm trying to get it to "be" coffee. And its not. It's. Just. Not. I'm trying to shift my perspective now and find a way to appreciate it for what it is. Maybe there's something good about tea? Probably not. But if there is, I will know it by the end of this insanity.

Speaking of insanity, wouldn't it be SO crazy, if at the end of this, I was super amped about how I feel having controlled my diet in a drastically more healthy way and decided to just keep on doing it?

Insanity.

I wonder if I'll blow up the bathroom again before the day's over. I'm going to have to buy new pants (because they're too big not because I pooped in them) if this keeps up.

But that's okay because guess what, bestie and I are going shaw-ping on Saturday! This might be my last impractical spending adventure for a long time, if things in the hopper go as I suspect they might... (that's foreshaddowing ruht thar).

Before I wrote this line I had to bolt for the bathroom. Fourth of July Poops take THREE. Who's sexy? Me.

Why Teens Don't Want Their Parents at School: Courtesy of Mads

2012-01-19T20:49:00.001-05:00

I hope we've all learned something today. Namely, that Hubs ruins everything.

This happened.

2012-01-19T20:26:00.001-05:00

Opposites Attract

2012-01-18T13:16:00.002-05:00

P.S. Where'd my mug go, dangit?!!

Wild Cats: A Documentary

2012-01-17T19:36:00.001-05:00

I Said "hate" TWO times today.

2012-01-15T21:12:00.000-05:00

My vocabulary choice is chock-full of impropriety and unprofessionalism. I love toilet humor. I say the "eff" word sometimes, and I say "douche-bag" a LOT. A word I don't say all that much is "hate". Its a no-no zone for me.

But I said it TWICE today.

Hate-worthy item number one: the Power Book G4 that hangs out in our kitchen for little emailings, recipe looking up, and kid homework. The battery is beyond hope and the machine won't operate as more than a paperweight if the battery is attached to the unit. Additionally, this piece of turd has a three-inch AC cord that for all intents and purposes makes it immobile as well as wretched. To add insult to injury, it can't hold the wireless connection to our router for more than seven seconds, which makes me want to pop a cap in it approximately every 14 seconds.

Hate-worthy item number two: teabags. I mentioned in a previous post that I've eliminated soda from my life, and am slowly reducing my coffee intake from jugular main line to, hopefully, just water. (Gag me, right?) Anywits. That's been going pretty okay. Until tonight. Tonight, homegirl has a chill on her skin and a tickle in her throat and wanted some delicious (and I'm sure holy) coffee. But its too late in the day. Noon was a long time ago. So I searched the cupboards for some tea. Tea is okay, I guess, but I don't drink it unless its serving a pretty specific purpose, or my mom is here and 5pm hasn't struck yet. Obviously, I don't carry the stuff in bulk because of this, but lo an behold, I founds one. I put it in some water, popped it in the microwave. When the microwave dinged, I took a big swig without inspection which was the dumbest thing ever because the bag and exploded while in the microwave and I swallowed a bunch of little tea leaf flakes. That was a terribly long sentence and poorly written to boot! Yay! I don't care. Stoopid TEA.

I Won't Call Them Resolutions

2012-01-09T09:06:00.000-05:00

I'm making some adjustments, dangit, and I'm putting them here just so they're down somewhere besides the front of my worship folder from church yesterday.

1. No more snooze button
2. No more soda
3. No coffee after 12 noon (I cry typing this)
4. Lights OUT no later than 10:30pm
5. IN BED no later than 9:30pm (awww yisss)

Wanna get inspired to grab some habits by the throat and choke them out? Listen to Jamey's 'Honoring God with My Body' sermon from yesterday. Even if you don't love Jesus, you should listen to it. For realsies.

Furniture

2012-01-02T18:11:00.001-05:00

I only made ONE gift this year. In years past, I've been pretty gung ho about the whole hand-made Christmas gift thing, but this year I said bah to both gifts made with love AND Christmas cards.

The one I gift I did make, though, I'm pretty excited about. One of my neighbors put some old dining room chairs out at the end of their driveway for garbage pick up. I took them (oh dang!) and did a couple of amendments to one to give to my bestie for Christmas.

I wrote this post before giving it to her, because she's my only blog reader and then the surprise would be ruined. Chair has been bestowed, and bestie put her delectable rear upon it and looked even CUTER than she does when she's not sitting in a chair? Don't say Christmas miracles don't happen.

Smithfield, VA.

2012-01-02T18:10:00.000-05:00

After many days of loafing, husband and I went on an adventure to Smithfield, VA (after subjecting ourselves to the cruel punishment of P90X... my pudding arms are screaming). I had heard there were tons of gorgeous little things there to see and touch and buy...

It was fun to look at the houses, I found a racy book that I'm looking forward to reading (Lillith), and we had lunch at a nice little spot, but I was by and large frownie-faced over the "airs" there, which I wasn't expecting. Its kind of a run-down little place, looks honest enough, but there were ladies tootling about in fur coats, little tubes of lotion in the shops were, like, a million dollars, and there was a bakery there that we stepped into that had five plates on display that was home to three cookies each... and THAT WAS ALL THAT WAS IN THERE. Its a bakery, not a Coach boutique, y'all. Dimetri said something rude (see quote of the day on baby blog), so we bought a cookie (that reduced their inventory quite a bit, obviously), and anguish of all anguishes, the cookie wasn't tasty. A terrible blow to my already delicate impression of the place.

Oh wells. You win some you loose some.

Quote of the Day

2011-12-23T12:11:00.000-05:00

"I wish you had balls."

(three seconds)

"No I don't."

Christmas Time at the Office

2011-12-23T08:38:00.002-05:00

The days leading up to Christmas have been riddled with distractions, mostly inspired by sugar-highs, mistletoe, and secret santas.

I love it.

My Buddy Derek

2011-12-23T08:30:00.000-05:00

This semester I have become more acquainted with a young man who attends my church. He went off to college this year, and is attending right near my house and is quite carless, so us Wilkers have gotten into the habit of picking him up as we tootle off to church on Sunday mornings, and bringing him back to his dorm late that same evening.

Over the course of many long car-rides (church is over a half-hour drive away), we've had plenty of compelling conversation over the last few months, to include such subjects as his ear-piercing adventure, his overall accessory preferences, and his skinny jeans. Our most recent discussion was a bit of a disagreement over doing your exercises in skinny jeans... and he put together a nifty video response that gives whole new meaning to, "let us refer to the video tape".

In case its unclear, young Derek is a film student.

2 of 30: Fall in Five Minutes

2011-11-11T13:16:00.001-05:00

In a period of what feels like five minutes, fall has happened. This time last week, we had leaves on our trees, and now we don't.

Nature is crazy.

In other news, I forced myself to super-sleep in this morning, in anticipation of the lady sleep over I am participating in that starts this afternoon. I have been chided for wimping out too early in the evening at previous annual sleep-overs. And I'm determined to NOT BE THAT GUY this year. What? Its 9:30? I'm SO awake right now!!

I reflect back even just a few short years ago and recall that my late-night rallying was much more impressive... is it my age? Is it my routine? Perhaps a combination of both, but any way you slice it, I am total weak sauce when it comes to staying up late any more.

Reading over this now, I am thoroughly unimpressed with this blog entry. Blah.

Yesterday during birthday-girl-office-trashing, a handful of foil confetti was thrown in my direction. I thought I got it all off of me, but in fact this was not the case as shown by finding confetti in the following locations way after it was thrown at me:

Toilet
Bra

A mystery as to how confetti got there, but based on this I am even more confidant that birthday girl will be genuinely annoyed when she sees what we did to her office when she returns to work on Monday. I'm a little nervous... mostly about the guarantee of retributive action.

1 of 30

2011-11-10T18:14:00.000-05:00

I don't do big, for real laughs very often. Its just not in me. I'm the person at comedy shows whom the speaker pokes fun at for never cracking a smile during their witty routines... sitting there all sorts of stoic with my arms crossed across my chest. I'm a jerk.

Anywig.

I do my nervous giggles when somebody says something weird or that makes me uncomfortable and I have a stock courtesy laugh when folks are trying to be funny and I just don't have the heart to say, "this isn't working out... shut it down".

I love a good laugh. And I have a coworker who's secret super-hero talent is laughing. It. Is. Awesome. Its like a cackle, and it goes all over the place, and let me tell something to you, it is infectious. If she starts laughing, I start laughing. It doesn't matter what she's laughing at, if she's laughing, I start to chuckle.

Today, she got to laughing REALLY big. And I was so enchanted that I laughed myself into a serious case of "the silent hee-hees". You know the one. When you're laughing so hard that your shoulders shake, your belly hurts, tears run down your face, and despite the fact that your mouth is wide open, no sound comes out. Its incredibly attractive.

And it feels so good. Ah. Thanks Linda. You made my day.

An Exercise: 30 for 30

2011-11-10T18:02:00.000-05:00

I started a new job at the end of August, and through that I have met some superfun new people. One of whom is an avid writer.

I am a crappy writer, so when I heard tale of the girl with the almost-masters-degree in grammar, punctuation, and technical writing you'll forgive me for thinking, "ohhhhh GREAT. This girl is gonna be reaming me out day and night. I won't be able to fool anybody with my shoddy work even another minute longer."

Well, I'm still a crappy writer, but this girl is the bee's knees. I enjoy her immensely. We have exchanged twitter details, and so I snoop on her with her permission from time to time. In that snooping, I have learned that she's in the middle of a creative writing exercise. She's writing every night... and, like, a LOT, for the month of November. I don't think I could commit hours to writing every night, after futzing around writing all day long, but it did inspire me to initiate my own abbreviated exercise that I'm going to call "30 for 30". In 30 days, I will write something here at least once each day. I'm not putting any more parameters on it than that... we'll see how I do!

Let the maddness begin.

soundtrack

2011-11-09T13:16:00.000-05:00

YESSSSSSSSSS.

2011-11-08T19:11:00.001-05:00

A Dose of Yucky

2011-11-03T17:59:00.003-04:00

It is a beautiful day today, and whim of whims, I decided to take the doggie-dog for a walk after work. This is something I rarely do, mostly because I am very lazy.

Anyway, as we walked around the neighborhood for half an hour, two yucky things happened:

A girl shouted out from the tennis courts, "I like your beanie... that's a hat... since you probably don't know what a beanie is because you're probably a moron." (Yes, she used 'probably' twice. I'm just quoting here.)
On a little patch of the road where there is no sidewalk, I walked on the street and a car drove by really close and really fast and yelled, "fucker!" out the window.

What?

These instances did not get me bent out of shape, but they did get me to thinking.

I really don't experience that level of douchebaggery very often. I spend my work days surrounded by professionals who have kids and degrees and comfortable lifestyles. I spend my weekends at home and at church, pretty much exclusively. Today I realized that my experience with the world is very different than the way the world actually is. And I felt like a total ignorant, head in the sand, self-absorbed turd. I love Jesus. I love the church. I love MY church. But most of what I do in pursuit of showing God's love to people around me is for an audience of people who are already well on their way to being super-tight with H to the JC. That makes me kind of embarrassed.

What can I do to change that? What can I do to put myself in a position to serve those who really need the service? My mind grapes are hard at work.

Consider me inspired. You win again, Holy Spirit, you old cuss, you.

P.S. Speaking of 'cuss', have you seen the movie, 'Fantastic Mr. Fox'? Oh my dang it is amazings. And don't be dissuaded because its a "kid show". I loath me some Disney. Trust that this show is the bomb-diggity. I could watch it 400 times on repeat and be pleased as punch, ready for more.

I love poop.

2011-11-02T21:11:00.001-04:00

Its true. I love poop. Not literally, but conceptually.

My dear sweet mother always argues that poop isn't funny, but it is. It always is. Nothing kills better than a good poop joke. Why is that??? I'm sure I don't know. If a person could do a thesis titled "Why Poop is Funny", and then be a doctor of something other than proctology (snort), my interest in additional schooling would be henceforth completely, 100% restored.

Alas, I'm fairly certain no reputable school would support such investigative journalism, and that there may simply not be an answer.

Maybe that's what gives poop the extra value in the humor department... it shouldn't be funny... pooping in real life isn't funny at ALL (though certainly can make a person feel aN Incredible sense of accomplishment, and if little else a weight of of the shoulders). When it over, a person feels glad.

In any case, I love it. If that keeps me from being a lady, fine. POOP!

P.S. Hubs took this photo whist scooping up Derek for small group tonight, which I might add, was totally awesome. Wanna read a nugget of true goodness? Try 2 Corinthians 4:17. It be amazing.

Oh Kleenex, You're so Cocky

2011-10-26T15:45:00.001-04:00

You really think you'd win in a battle against my incredible snot-blowing power?

Please.

Tissues have never made me laugh before. This is a big day.

Soundtrack

2011-10-26T09:47:00.000-04:00

I love you, candy.

2011-10-09T20:36:00.001-04:00

Soundtrack Friday

2011-10-07T16:18:00.002-04:00

Awwww Yissssss.

2011-10-07T15:04:00.002-04:00

Also, this. Why, you ask? Cause both these things made me smile stupidly. I find that worthy of note.

I guess Hubs liked his dinner.

2011-10-03T20:25:00.002-04:00

Love at First Sight

2011-10-02T14:42:00.000-04:00

This happened. For real.

2011-10-02T14:41:00.001-04:00

Taboo

2011-10-02T14:40:00.001-04:00

Adrienne Shows her Vanity

2011-09-30T14:03:00.001-04:00

At the grocer for a snack mid-way through the workday, the size 0 abercrombie&fitch clad teen chicky who rung up my foods looked up and said, "you're soooo pretty."

I'm embarrassed to admit how much awesome I felt from that.

2011-09-28T20:49:00.001-04:00

Posing like the Breakfast Club for a photograph has earned status of, 'BEST EVAH'.

So fierce.
Jeannette's flipflop really adds a certain je nais se quoi, donchoo think?

True Romance

2011-09-16T01:11:00.001-04:00

Whilst at SPX last weekend, I picked up an "upcycled" wool kitty-shaped pillow.

The pillow-shaped kitty in the foreground likes it quite a bit.

Quote of the Day

2011-09-16T01:08:00.001-04:00

"... NO. You take TWO after your first diarhhea, and one after EACH subsequent diarhhea."

My goodness.

Oh, Madison.

2011-09-01T21:57:00.000-04:00

Mads: Adrienne! I have invented an additive to water that will enhance the growth of plants.

Adrienne: [pause] Uh... you mean, like, fertilizer?

Mads: Auuuugghhhh... I was born at the wrong time! I wish it was still the year 2000.

Adrienne: Fertilizer was invented way before 2000.

Mads: [incredulous] What?!! What about in 1985?

I gave her the url to the United States Patent and Trademark Office. Hopefully, this will circumvent future anguish over proprietary rights to ideas. Poor thing.

Awkward

2011-08-25T09:58:00.001-04:00

You know how, like, when you have something really important to remember, and you're so afraid you might forget it and then ruin everything that you write yourself a note on your hand?

Today is such a day.

With a crazy hurricane coming our way that will make SandyPants go mental with fear, coupled with a serious butt-scooting issue that can only mean one thing, I threw caution to the wind and wrote myself a reminder so I don't forget to address these critical issues during our vet visit this afternoon.

... another proud moment for mom, to be sure.

Quote of the Day

2011-08-13T14:54:00.003-04:00

"... NO. You take TWO after your first diarhhea, and one after EACH subsequent diarhhea."

My goodness.

Quote of the Day

2011-08-13T14:54:00.001-04:00

"... NO. You take TWO after your first diarhhea, and one after EACH subsequent diarhhea."

My goodness.

Quote of the Day

2011-08-04T21:08:00.005-04:00

I made a new friend last week while on a work trip. Her name is Katie. This week, she happened to be down in our neck of the woods with her friend Tia, so hubs and I met them for supper at my favoritest place in the world, Plaza Azteca.

We arrive first, and nosh on chips. Katie and Tia arrive. I introduce hubs to both girls, and then myself to Tia. We settle in to the booth, menus are reviewed, and the waiter comes by for drink orders.

Katie requests water with lemon. Tia orders water, but NO lemon... and she's explicit about the no lemon part.

Then Hubs says...

... wait for it...

... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiit for it...

"Oh! Is that because of the poop?"*

Yes, that's right folks. The second thing out of my charming husband's mouth to our new pals is about feces. I've never been more proud.

*Apparently there was a "news" expose about this recently. I googled it. I wish I hadn't. Click if you dare.

Best Pencil in the WURRRRRLLLLLLD.

2011-08-04T20:44:00.003-04:00

As its coming up on back to school, and I loath how many writing accouterments are loaned out never to be seen again by a certain individual who lives here, I thought I might invest in a giant package of pencils special ordered with that certain individuals initials on them.

Upon further consideration and consult with my sister (who teaches 3rd grade), I decided against it. Seems that the options in personalizing pencils are:

Don't pay a lot and get snazzy looking pencils that write like (and erase like) shit
Pay a LOT

So. By way of my temporarily-resident expert, I learn that the greatest and most trusty pencil in the world today is any one made by Dixon Ticonderoga. And they just so happen to make really cool, not often seen, black ones.

I bought a jillion.

And then I got to daydreaming about how cool the girls are going to feel using these super fantastic, NOT yellow pencils. I drew the daydream.

... how silly that I daydream about pencils and how cool they are. I think I need to change the blog name to 'Life of Simple Pleasure for a King-Sized Nerd'.

Buh-buh-buh-buh BOOKCLUB.

2011-07-06T19:56:00.001-04:00

Wilker Family Bookclub makes us feel very superior and intelligent...

... but mostly just reinforces that we're awesome. (Note that Dimetri makes the same face when he's smug as when he's awesome.)

The Place you Never Want to Go

2011-06-30T16:34:00.001-04:00

Caution: This Will Make You Barf

2011-06-23T20:58:00.001-04:00

Dear Hubs,

I will love you until the moon loses its footing in the sky.

Odd Conversations That End Up Rad.

2011-06-19T21:43:00.000-04:00

Today is Father's Day. Dimetri doesn't care to be "doted upon", which is weird, but okay. Given that, its been pretty close to a regular day at our house. Mads is carrying a negative balance on her allowance, and spaced even acknowledging June 19 as anything besides Sunday; but that is not noteworthy in her bubble-headed twelve-year-old state.

So the true task of Father's Day lay solely in calling my own dad and giving him mad props for being the best ever. I call every couple of weeks or so to visit for a little bit, so my calling isn't an "event" by any stretch, and he doesn't seem to mind my gushing like Dimetri does... though I'm not sure his response to it qualifies as appreciation, probably more like tolerance. (I think this mostly because these parts of our conversations are 100% one sided, with me saying mooshy things and him responding with his standards: "yup", "mmhmm", or for those particularly enthusiastic moments, "yah, you betcha".

At the end of all my calls, since leaving the nest at 18, my parting words are "love you, Dad!" and his are, "Okay, bye."

He doesn't say it back. He's said the words twice, in my total memory of our cooperative lives. It doesn't bother me, as I know he does. He doesn't need to tell me so for me to know dad love to the ends of my toes. But this culture we have between us (which he maintains with the rest of the world... its not just me who doesn't get the words, its everyone), makes it a big flippin' deal when there's a sentimental moment shared out loud.

My dad is a fascinating guy. His need for affection, adoration, to share struggle and success with someone... and the rest of the major mooshy food groups is none. He loves presents, he loves to be cared for, but his heart doesn't seem to demand the stuff of intimacy. I checked him for wires and can confirm he is not a robot. Just a second generation Norwegian brainiac with a wicked sense of humor and an appreciation of the planet he walks on.

So! Back to the call. We talked about his gardening, his golf game from earlier in the day (he stunk but his other pose memebers stunk worse, apparently), the weather, what kind of special meal he was getting for Father's Day, my funny baby brother, and his eyes (his retinas are being turds in his senior years). I giggled a bunch, and gave my enthusiastic encouragements to continue with his interesting stories. He passed the phone to mom for me to say hi, and then took the phone back to say g'bye. Without any forethought, I said something bolder than my usual, "Love you, Dad!":

Pop: "Alrighty. Well tell everyone I said hi and have a good rest of your evening. Thanks for the call."
Ad: "Hey."
Pop: [silence]
Ad: "I hope you know how fond I am of you."
Pop: "Yes."
Ad: "I tell people all the time about how much you mean to me."
Pop: "Mmhmm."
Ad: "I appreciate everything you've done for me... and I hope I'm doing my part to make it feel like its been worth it to you."
Pop: [long pause] "... it always has been."
Ad: "I love you, Dad."
Pop: [softly, and after another long pause] "I love you, Ad."
Ad: "Bye."
Pop: "Bye."

And now my heart has rainbows, fat ponies, kittens, and stars flying out of it in every direction. What a good feeling. What a great dad, whether telling me he loves me or not. I wish everyone could have this with their earthly dads. Times like these, my mind pops and hisses over the possibility of having a truly flawless father up in heaven. Think of the rainbows, fat ponies, kittens, and stars that guy can make a heart feel!

I can face anything with this.

I'm out...

2011-06-11T19:12:00.001-04:00

... On an incredible adventure! Live vicariously through me by way of babyblog!

Everyone else is at home, so don't be thinking of robbing me, thanks very much.

A Word from our Sponsor

2011-06-03T18:34:00.001-04:00

Sooo... eh. I have been thinking its high time to update verbally on my movings and shakings, and I will preface, as I always do prior to these self-involve ramblings, that I do this for myself. Its fun to refer back. If you like it, fine. If you don't, scat.

Scat = go away. Not jazz talk, or poop.

Youngest daughter is in full-swing of "I'm a teenager therefore I am insane", who will probably make my hair turn grey. Though, she still loves her folks like a little kid does. Its an interesting contrast. She wants to be close to us, talk with us, play with us; and then in the next minute she's being WAY naughty in a way that "blossoming individuals are"... that I still have strong memories of from my own youthful days... cripes. My poor mother. I guess this is called justice? Self-correcting universe? Or just the way things have always been and always will be. Who knows. The short of it is, the foreseeable road is bumpy. The long of it is, we're okay with it because we know in the end; the effort, patience, tolerance, and firmness will be worth it.

Hubs continues to be the best thing in the whole world, except that he is never ready to go when it is time to go. (In response to my complaint on this matter, he says that I am a chronic generalizer with my use of the terms, 'everything/body, no one/body, always, and never'. He may have a point, but that doesn't change the fact that more often than not, I wait, and we are late.

My car is a turd. Four weeks ago, I got the thousand-dollar 60K mile maintenance done, then a week later had to be towed to the mechanic, and today the check engine light came back on. Hooray!

Hubs and I watched a documentary about Lyme Disease a couple of weeks ago, and since then it has been the running explanation for everything that comes up in day to day life. Kind of an inappropriate joke. Especially since, my work bud Kevin was admitted to the hospital yesterday with Staphylococcus which occurred from infected deer tick bites. He's on, like, eleventybillion antibiotics at the moment, including Lyme Disease treatment. The joke is dead, you guys. For real.

Sidebar: it is LYME disease, not Lyme's. Just the one lyme, and it is totally plenty.

I'm reading this faaaaaaaabulous book, "The Elegance of the Hedgehog". An old lady and a young girl (associated only by geography), both with brilliant and gifted minds, hide their smart sauce from the world but get found out by some cool dude who moves into the building. Sounds dumb when I write that, but its truly superb. Best novel I've read in a long time.

I bought a TON of greenery to plant in the backyard from Brighter Blooms Nursery through their website, and they're doing rad. Nothing has died by my hands as of yet! Huge success. "Huger" success: They sent me a double order of everything by accident, didn't bill me, and when I called to bring the issue to their attention, they told me to keep it and enjoy! I heart you, Brighter Blooms. I heart you.

I have a nasty bite on the top of my foot that looks, well, gross. Additionally, I proudly display several gargantuan green bruises on my left leg above my knee. Thank goodness the temperatures in Virginia finally demand shorts and sandals, and I can rouse a whole new type of speculation in casual observers. Does she box professionally? Is she blind? Does she have a drug problem? I'm dying to know!

Work is alright. We consolidated locations today, and I now sit next to a gentleman who offends me in two ways: he does not mind his own business; and far worse an offense, he is a clutter bug. I loath stuff. If a thing doesn't have a pressing reason to be a certain place, it should not be there. Instead, that thing should be in the trash. We finished the moving part, and in the five hour period following that, my dear neighbor managed to have every conceivable surface of his five by five cube covered in a heavy layer of stuff. ADDITIONALLY, he had so much stuff that, it flowed over into MY tiny area (which incidentally, is not even 5x5, because I'm on a corner.... ) This is the point at which I almost imploded and realized that my innocent neurosis might turn into something terribly unmanagable if I don't make a firm decision to "get a grip". Say a prayer I manage the strength to get said grip.

That's all I've got. G'bye.

Ta-Tas

2011-05-25T23:32:00.004-04:00

Oh wait, no....

2011-05-25T14:19:00.001-04:00

Iphone Dump

2011-05-23T19:50:00.000-04:00

Purty flowers from my buddy, Em.

I purchased a pencil that has eraser instead of lead! In theory, a great idea. But the eraser quality in this particular case is WAYYYY sub par. Bummer, dude. (And yes. That is The Cosby Show going in the background. No one helps me draw crappy doodles like Theo does.

About a week ago, I had car troubles. It was a super lame situation, but I made three friends out of the deal (Daniel, James, and Danny), and this funny ladybug rode on my tire as it was towed to the repair shop! James (my new bestie who drives a super-ghetto towing vehicle) says that's real lucky.

Hubs was away for a week. We'd text each other pictures of what we were doing when the mood struck (gag me, right?) and this is one I sent along to him. Look how weird my face is! Do I always cock my brow in photos? And am I really a teeny bit cross-eyed? Yikes.

My presents from Hubs' trip to the west coast. I heart Bill Cosby. I'm not sure about the Chocodile. After I ate it, my belly got very angry. VERY. ANGRY.

Hubs is the SHIZ Reason 2,333,759,658: He fashioned a birdhouse to put atop that silly post that's been hanging out all stoopid like at the end of our drive way since we moved here... SIX years ago. I put shingles on it's roof. Isn't it the cutest?!!

Hubs is the SHIZ Reason 2,333,759,659: He lets me take a picture of him when there's something offensive on his tooth. Its not a boogie. Promise.

One of my favorite neighborhood kids brought her little friend over for show and tell. I think he fell out of a tree or something. He didn't seem amped about flying. Poe MBB (Medium Black Bird).

Even though Hubs is WAY smarter than me, I KILLLLLL him at Scrabbulous. (Except for right now. He is currently wiping the floor with me by, like, 150 points. This is crap.)

For Hubs' birfday I got him a fancy hammock in which to lounge. Instead of 'spidey senses' kitty has 'leisure senses'

Red velvet cupcakes: the reason hubs agreed to marry my weird face.

Happy Birthday, Hubs!

2011-05-21T15:31:00.001-04:00

Churchie Goodness

2011-05-15T22:39:00.000-04:00

My software options are verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry limited... so editing my little drawings using a giant turd that rhymes with 'taint' (oh Adrienne you are SO foul), leaves me wanting to break a chair.

Instead of breaking a chair, I'm giving up and just posting what I have. I just don't care. This is driving me nuts.

And now, I have to break up with you.

2011-05-05T16:34:00.002-04:00

Dear Facebook,

I know you never meant to hurt anyone. I do. Really. And I don't blame you for what has happened. You're merely a conduit through which extremely bad choices can be made. You're like a delightful and enchanting 'chose your own adventure' book, where 75% of the choices the reader makes end in their own demise.

I just can't hang with stakes like that.

I'm sure I sound dramatic... and perhaps to some extent, I am sensationalizing certain circumstances which have gone horribly wrong, that really do not reflect what you are, overall. However. In my small sphere of influence, Facebook is a villain-- in benign and tragic situations alike. And when I attempted a 'pros and cons' list, there were no 'pros' at all. I don't need you to know people. And I certainly have no productive reasons to be sniffing around at acquaintances photos and personal status.

I think we can agree that what's best here is that we're both doing what's right for us. Unfortunately, what's right for me is being about a billion miles away from you.

Thanks for understanding, best of luck to you in all future endeavors.
Adrienne

A Poor Choice in Footwear

2011-05-02T17:17:00.012-04:00

(click to make it bigger)

This past weekend beheld one of the precious few perfect weather days that occur in southern Virginny... so naturally, I got my tail out in the backyard and started futzing around with weeds and plants and other nonsense that go totally unnoticed and unappreciated by everyone but the person who performed the work.

Ahem.

Anywig, Mads had completed her dog-poo scoopin' responsibilities earlier in the day, and saw me out the kitchen window digging clay and mud and probably some worms out my running shoe treads with a knife. I learned later that she was very concerned that I had stepped in a poop that she had missed and would probably be suffering some of my parental wrath, so decided to perform the ever-so-popular preemptive strike, and offer to clean them up for me.

Upon learning that the fault was not hers, she lost all interest in what was going on. What a surprise.

You may notice an asterisk in panel four. Hubs says it looks like I'm farting stars. I do indeed fart stars, but not in this particular instance. In this, among many of the other attempts to represent myself "graphically", I depict my shirt coming up in the rear. This is for reals. I don't know if its my hunchback, my "ample bosom", or something else entirely, but my shirt does tend to come up back there. The result of which on this particular occasion was a one-inch deep band of sunburn across my lower back. Looks great against my otherwise "shade of moon" complexion. It also itches. Yay.

Iphone Dump.

2011-04-23T20:58:00.000-04:00


An accidental photo, but awesome none the less. Incidentally, did I ever tell you about the time I was engaged to some other dude and how the ring he got me was fake? Gasp. Hiss. Boooooo.

That there where kitty is at is my seat. I went down the driveway to get the mail, and upon returning, he'd made himself comfortable. WHY, when there's another seat, like, two feet away, did he pick mine? Because he's a pest. That's why.


Dimetri: "What's your tail doing on my neck?" TK: "What's your neck doing on my tail?"

There's a little teeny kind of clover with yellow flowers that grows in little patches along our fence (among other places it is less welcome). I like it so much that I often transplant it into a pot for me to enjoy in my house. This guy here now lives in a hershey's cocoa container. He seems very happy about it.

HALF of the goodie bags I have assembled for sunday school kids this Easter.

The animals are shedding like Crazytown, USA. Therefore, I furminate regularly. It looks like TK exploded right in front of garden gnome, but I assure you, both cat and gnome are just fine.

Shameful shameful mess.

Baby grass! I got to thinking about how much I love the smell of fresh-cut grass and thought, "well why don't I plant some and then trim it when I want that smell in the house?!!" Do you know who's brilliant? Its me.

Your garden variety dog + cat = love.

As Mads becomes increasingly aware of her aesthetic... she's been experimenting with her look. She wore that tutu til I made her take it off because she was vacuuming and I was scared she'd suck it right up and kill my cleaning machinery. I was less than concerned for the tutu.

The view from the master bathroom toilet. Booya.

Nabbed this little guy out in the backyard this evening. He let me get real close... but his nose wiggling speed gave away his anxiety. His appearance was quite timely. Happy Easter, dudes!

Delicious Smell

2011-04-18T19:51:00.010-04:00

(click to make it bigger)

A Typical Conversation with my Dear Old Dad

2011-04-16T23:30:00.004-04:00

(click to make it bigger)

My pop is a second-generation Norwegian fella, who grew up in the fair state of Minnesota, before transplanting in Alaska, circa 1981.
I call him from time to time to see what's shakin' and those conversations always tickle me. His sense of humor is dry, sharp, and always timely. Also, he's the smartest guy I know.
There is plenty to admire about my dad.
Even his charming 'regional dialect', though I really shouldn't tease... as I've had my "incorrect" pronunciation of the word about pointed out to me about five billion times.
(Not with bestie though, 'cause we do it the same.)

yadda yadda CANCER

2011-04-12T18:42:00.003-04:00

!

2011-04-10T20:38:00.003-04:00

(click to make it bigger)

Fairly self explanatory (I think). This happened a few years ago. Kitty is now even fatter.

Originally, I wrote the "true word" expressed in the last line... but then I got embarrassed.

Hubs was quick to point out that I "censored" myself.

I wonder why it is that I'm more comfortable being explicit about my digestive activities than I am owning my regular usage the "eff word".
I guess its that everybody poops from their rear, but not everybody has poop coming out of their mouth.
Nice.
Mom is proud, I'm sure.

Caped Cat

2011-04-09T14:49:00.005-04:00

One time, kitty performed sneak-attack on a young man as he roller-bladed past our house. Dimetri and I happened to be there when it occurred, and laughed very much a lot.

Disclaimer: kitty doesn't really wear a cape, and did not make physical contact with the boy. Though he was plenty surprised/scared (horrified).


(click to make it bigger)

P.S.You may notice young teen's t-shirt. I popped that in as a tribute to Dimetri.

He wants that but I'm scared he'll wear it to church to get me back for the eleventy-billion times I've embarrassed him over the last seven years, so a "shout out" will just have to do.

oh, YIS.

2011-04-08T19:19:00.003-04:00

Ooooooh... New Favorite!

2011-04-07T13:40:00.001-04:00

My ever-lovin' comic book beau turned me on to this precious gal named Kathy Macleod.

She makes me want to try my hand at comic making.

(this here is an excerpt, of course. I love her use of "booya", and the comic panels flying out of her finger tips, all "lightning bolt/laser beam" style.)

I LOVE that girl.

2011-04-06T19:54:00.001-04:00

Mads had her first ever track meet this afternoon. She ran the 1600 and it was the best time ever. She was real proud of herself.
I am too.
(Which explains the crying. Sheesh.)

Leopard Print

2011-04-06T11:31:00.000-04:00

Leopard print (among other animal patterns) are considered "high fashion" at the moment, but all I can think of when I see it is Fran and Sylvia Fine (Fran Drescher and Renee' Taylor) from The Nanny.

No judgment, but definitely. not for. me.

Iphone DUMP. Yay!

2011-04-04T19:51:00.004-04:00

Dimetri's best friend (PlayStation III) pooped the bed. Sad. He was able to get my CardioX out of the player though, so all was not lost... but only according to me.

What's cuter than a duck couple snuggling in fresh mulch?
Just me, baby... just me.

Me and muh lay-days. I yelled at James big time later that day.
I feel a little bit bad about it...

but only a little bit.

PLEASE NOTE:

If I'm driving you all over Christendom in a big city I don't know when its dark out, and you shine the beeping FLASH on your iphone in my face, I'm going to hulk out. Go ahead and plan on that.

... annnnnnnnd a movie! A couple of my favorite Alaskans were in Baltimore, so I drove up and we had big fun consisting of the usual: tickle fights, shopping, and confections.
I really think James is ready for a professional movie-making career. Don't you?

Oh Jesus, You're So Funny.

2011-04-04T11:59:00.001-04:00

Folks who love Jesus feel direct blessing from Him when good stuff happens... especially when it feels specific to that person's circumstance and/or sense of priority.

Such a thing just happened to me.

It is BEAUTIFUL outside today, and as I'm working from home, I have the luxury of enjoying it from my front porch (while wearing my jammies) for a few minutes here and there. Just moments ago, I was out there, with the cat.

Cat loves this time of year for one specific reason: delectable baby birdies. He likes to go "hunting", and then stockpile the poor little things on the doormat. Its yucky and tragical.

So as I sat there, breathing in the warm spring air, I watched kitty plot his next move on avian population control. Then something awesome happened.

Kitty got pooped on. Right on his FACE!

What a great burn. And a perfect combo of things: kitty who's mean sometimes, beautiful weather, and poop.

Thanks, Jesus. That made my day.

Denver! You DIDN'T!

2011-03-25T18:12:00.000-04:00

Oh. My. Dang.

If you are a dog-luvah, you've probably seen this. I myself just became privy, and felt compelled to share. I'm going to be adding some of these one liners to my "overuse" file, so if I call you "Denver" at any point in the future, now you know where you stand. Just sayin'.

New Levels of Embarrassment

2011-03-24T17:08:00.000-04:00

I drive this car.

Sexy? Truth.

Weird? There are only a hand-full of these in the area. I *never* see them on the road.

Result: Every time I *do* see one, I get excited and want to beep and wave.

Today I saw my *exact* twin. Same color exterior, rims, yadda yadda. Naturally, I got pretty excited.

So I pull up beside and do my beep/wave thing.

Driver (and passenger) look at me all, "is she about to pull a gun?"

And then I remember. I am driving this car today.

...and I felt like a righteous idiot.

Fundraising: My Number One Absolute Favoritest Thing

2011-03-21T18:36:00.002-04:00

Oh wait, no... its not. Like, at all.

In any case I'm doing a fund raiser at church called "The Parable Project", and I hope you will help me!

We were all given an envelope. In some were $10, in others were $20, and in a precious few were $50. I randomly selected an envelope with $50 and accepted the challenge to use this money and my "God-Given Gifts" (triple "G", dudes) to multiply this money (of which 50% goes to Food for the Hungry, and the other half goes to OrphaNetwork.)

In mulling over how I could turn this money into more by using only my "skillz" (and associated supplies, of course), I figured that while its not really a "talent", my greatest "gift" IS my friends and family. (Gag, right?) And while I'm not certain how my baking skills measure up, when compared; I do like to bake, so I'm going to count it as a super-talent, just for fun.

And so: I used the $50 to buy baking supplies and some of those fancy $7 flat rate postage boxes. I whipped up treat samplings for six recipients from "favorite people list" (aforementioned friends and family) that fit a certain criteria (within a fairly low mile radius), along with a pitiful plea to show some love in large bills and a return envelope addressed to me. (I even put a stamp on the envelope. Aren't I the NICEST?!!)

You guys don't get treats. And some of you, I don't even know. But a good cause is a good cause (is a good cause). And sometimes, people have windfalls that they're just looking for a method by which to share their good fortune. If you're "feeling it", I will gladly accept any support you would show.

Send blingity-bling-bling-BLANG (or checks made out to Believers Church with 'Parable Project' written in the memo) to:

Adrienne Wilker C/O Believers Church
4500 Peek Trail
Chesapeake, VA 23321

Thanks for considering, you are the best. Okayloveyoubye.

Nom.

2011-03-16T12:27:00.002-04:00

Cheesy crackers shaped like bunnies make a cruel world bearable.
You can get your own at Target.

Iphone Dump. Yay!

2011-03-14T19:53:00.001-04:00

I cleaned off the pictures from my iphone today. Yikes, you guys, yikes.

Kitty scoffs at Groucho Marx. *Scoff*

...and then beat me up. Well played, cat.

This is why I sleep with one eye open. Creepy, no?

Also: I *DO* have jammies on. Quit with your gasping.

My college bestie sent me some fancy eye make up. I am terrible at doing "drama eyes" but gave it a stab and managed okay, I think. I only did the one eye. Because I am cool. And lazy.

Where there are snackie-cakes, there is a dog, balancing her looks of cutest and most pitiful in an effort to inspire sharing.

Faux Thanksgiving (details coming soon) was last weekend. I had THIRTEEN kids in my house that day. Right after I took this photo, I opened all the windows in that room because kids stink. BAD.

... along with those aforementioned 13 children were their parents, four other adults, and a partridge in a pear tree. Welcome to maximum capacity, yo.

Work stinks right now. Lots of lay-offs and lots of sour pusses. We had ice cream sandwiches to celebrate Greg's birthday, and now everyone is happy again.

Boss says, "Adrienne. Take the information on my white board and make it such that we make the two deadlines (that are already past), and the one we have three days from now."

Scratch that last thing I said about everybody being happy again.

Quote of the Day.

2011-03-10T13:56:00.002-05:00

"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."
~ Nietzsche

Oh, NERDS. I'm so terrible at blogging.

2011-03-08T08:11:00.000-05:00

...I'll spare the excuses for why. Today I am inspired because my favorite of all favorite comicbook girls has created something magical based on one of the best programs of all time, Fargo.

Here be a link. Tell all your friends.

Super Lady

UPDATE: Terrarium

2011-02-02T13:30:00.001-05:00

Science news relating to the great experiment, as described here:

Little plant has survived for seven days at the hands of bestie. I'm not certain on what I'm most proud of: Bestie for not killing planty, or Planty for finding the will to survive despite Bestie's care. :)

Autocorrect: Victimizing Millions Every Day.

2011-02-02T11:33:00.000-05:00

Hey. Remember that one time I told my parents something inappropriate and embarrassing?

Turns out, its not just me who does that. Let the laughter abound.

WARNINGS:

Salty language quotient: HIGH
You probably won't be getting any more work done today if you start farting around on this site

Cosmic Connection #4,001,104,367

2011-01-27T12:27:00.002-05:00

If you are someone who resorts to the use of 'chat' through AOL, MSN, Google, whatever... you are familiar with the ever elusive event in which you think and therefore type pretty much the same thing to someone as they type it to you. Its pretty special.

...especially when doublecheeseburgers are involved.

Facebook, you VILLAIN!

2011-01-22T16:42:00.000-05:00

Let it be known: facebook is a sneaky bugger, with malintent for all who dabble.

I know this because Hubs issued an "event invitation" to all my buds, intents to attend were received, but at party time, no one was here.

One hour past party time, no one was here.

Two hours past party time, no one was here.

At three hours past party time, I (with feigned bravery) shrugged and said, "I guess it ain't happenin'. I'm gonna go put on beloved sweatpants and do my sweat-a-thon.

This is when the doorbell rang, and friends presented.

Hubs was confused and relieved. I was (understandably) less depressed.

Apparently, your location designation on your facebook settings affects the time on your invitations to those who do not have the same location designation. While the invitation was sent out for 530pm, it was sent on Idaho time. So while Dimetri and I saw the invite for 530, everyone in Hampton Roads thought it started at 830pm, which is about a half an hour before I go to bed.

What a silly birthday. Thanks Hubs for all you do, in eastern standard time and pacific.

Ding!

2011-01-20T21:22:00.001-05:00

"The soul's inclination to love beauty is the trap God most frequently uses in order to win it."

-Simone Weil

Well played, God... Well. Played.

Terrarium

2011-01-19T18:58:00.001-05:00

Back in the fall, I engaged in an experiment with my recycling and made some terrariums with moss and clover and stuff from my yard. This one, like the rest, has done REALLY well. (You prolly can't see it, but the big plant in there has roots growing out into THIN AIR, its so happy with the atmosphere). They are as close to self-sustaining as can be.

I really like these guys, but for the sake of science, I feel I should take this to the next level... i.e., give one to Bestie and see if it survives, despite Bestie's black thumb.

OoooooOoo, SCIENCE! You're so scary!

Hmm.

Its time to get UP, yo!

2011-01-19T18:23:00.001-05:00

Its been awhile since I did a soundtrack. Its been on my mind for awhile, and I finally delegated a moment to putting together something to snap you out of those, "Oh gaw, its the middle of January and I have nothing to look forward to but President's Day. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame."

Enjoys... oh, and I'm pretty sure there are a couple of doodoo words in here, so mind yourself.

P.S. This dumb 8Tracks thing used to be so cool... now they've gone all, "lets make some money!" so I don't know if it even works. Dangit all.

Do not read this if you eat foods that I make sometimes.

2011-01-18T19:07:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've mentioned that I've started a "work out routine" with P90X dvds. Things are going good, on that front, by the way. But what is not good, is my habits.

I like to wear my favorite sweatpants to work out in. I mean.... sweat all over the place in. Woops, ladies don't sweat. They glisten. So. I like to wear my favorite sweatpants when I glisten all over the place. I also like to wear them every other moment of my life that I'm not at my job, where sweatpants are TOTALLY against the rules. So I wear them a lot. And they haven't been washed in... awhile. They're starting to get scratchy. They are also starting to sass-talk me. They need a bath, seriously.

And yet, today, like the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that... the first thing I did when I got home was put on sweatpants. This was fine and good until I was preparing some crescent rolls for supper. As I was unfurling the rolls of tasty-no-good-for you deliciousness, I dropped a big piece and it fell down down down... but hooray for me, I caught it as it passed the counter, with my sweatpanted leg... squishing it ever so slightly against the cupboard...

I had a decision to make: throw away crescent roll dough because it got "very close" with my yucky (yet favorite) sweatpants? Or put it on the pan with its buddies and hope for the best.

I think you know what I did.

Oh, Adrienne.

I love that guy...

2011-01-17T14:57:00.001-05:00

Don't you just want to hug a man who will spend all afternoon in an otherwise all girl teenybop band?

I know i do.

Jiggles McGee

2011-01-14T17:35:00.002-05:00

As per typical "post-holiday" season, I find myself reflecting on the fact that I ate WAY too many cookies between Thanksgiving and the New Year.

Let's review the evidence:

After a very uplifting self-pep-talk, I stepped gingerly on the digital scale in the bathroom... and it told me something rude, but in an atypically brief fashion, and then kind of "shut down". It felt like a drive by, in which someone totally uncool whizzes past with the window down, shouts a string of expletives, and throws a perfectly good cup of soda in my general direction.

All my pants are unreasonably "snug".

I think that's enough evidence.

As a result, I have formulated a battle plan to combat my pudding-self. This plan is P90X. I did it for the first time yesterday afternoon (curtains drawn, door closed), and today I do NOT feel awesome in my legs or my arms. I guess that means its working? Guh. Exercise is the WORST.

Facebook: Too Cool

2011-01-10T20:57:00.001-05:00

I rarely frequent Facebook. As a result of this (I think), I find myself needing to relearn how to use the dang thing every time I go there. This creates very little incentive to return once I leave... which I delay until "necessary", and when I finally DO log back in, I am even less sure about how to make it do what I want than I was before!

I'd give it the finger altogether and do something much more productive with that time (like eat a cookie or take a nap) were it not for the fact that what feels like 97% of my buds do a LOT of their communication through the application.

So what we end up with here, dear friends, is a pickle.

Today I tried to get in there and post on Bestie's wall about weather trying to squeltch our love by being all "natural disaster-y" every time we have plans to hang out... And I could NOT figure out how to do it.

I'm a mess.

Awww, gnome.

2010-12-28T17:34:00.006-05:00

Over a foot of snow makes folks who liken average snowfall to a bad case of dandruff in all sorts of a tizzy. We aint scared of the weather, but we are scared of the drivers, so we didn't venture out for two days after the sky unleashed northwest on us. I was out this afternoon, admiring the scene, and I noticed something just about as tragic as can be: garden gnome, overwhelmed up to his forehead. (Incidentally, this was also a gift from bestie.)

I couldn't reach him without putting my foot in some cold white stuff, so in this position he continues to be held captive.

Love + Hate

2010-12-22T17:05:00.002-05:00

= Hubs and Teek.

Whaa?

2010-12-21T11:49:00.004-05:00

Brown skittle, what are you doing? Also: white and tan skittle, what's up with you? And, deformed yellow skittle, what is your story?

I wonder if my curiosity will get the best of me and I eat those anomalies. I'll report back on flavor, should I dare to be daring.

UPDATE: I talked to the boys. Apparently, Skittles used to make a chocolatey version? And our Skittle machine had some in there for a brief period. Science supports this claim, as Greg sampled the weird ones and they are "sort of" chocolatey. The yellow one seems to have just been born different. Its lemony-deliciousness was consistent with its round brothers and sisters.

Nothing makes a fab Christmas gift necklace from your bestie look awesome like...

2010-12-21T09:34:00.003-05:00

... a popped collar.

Awwww yeahhhhh.

Nathan Carl: Fashionista

2010-12-20T16:06:00.002-05:00

Nate got some cool new shoes. I was admiring them at church. But then he put his foot up and my breath was taken away by. his. socks.

Try not to gasp.

... also! A cameo by Jamey Stuart, "one of the pastors here" at Believers Church. He's pretty okay. Check him out here. He's been doing some good stuff re: Jesus' birthday.

P.S. For a second I felt "ballsy" for putting this up on the interwebs, thinking I might get some poop for making an appauling sock video during church. Then I remembered that I sit AT THE FRONT, and Jamey prolly saw the whole thing, so if I was gonna get in trouble, I would have by now. YES.

Bestie Giftie

2010-12-20T09:10:00.002-05:00

... I got the most fab peals for Christmas from my bestie on Friday. (She's trying to help me look classy.) I've worn them every day since! Like, wow.
I will be photo documenting them from now until when I feel like it.

OooooOOoo... be mine, magic tote.

2010-12-10T12:04:00.001-05:00

Magic tote for magic wares;
wallet, tissues, gloves in pairs,

bandaids, notebooks, gloss for lips,
Tampons, floss, and licorice whips,

Yo-yo, gum, some old church fliers,
iphone, pepperspray, three spare tires,

rainbows, lotion, coke zero,
tickets to a midnight show,

pair of hedgehogs, packing tape,
some brownies and a hooded cape,

a megaphone, a movie script,
a hairbrush, and some beef that's chipped.

Slugs and Poop

2010-12-09T22:13:00.000-05:00

Slugs are coming in my house, and upon discovery on the floor in some random spot I keep mistaking them for very small poops.

This makes no sense whatsoever because no one at my house has poops like that.

Last night at small group with my ladies, three poop jokes happened. We ALL laughed, which is really something, I think; considering that we range in age from late 20s to mid 50s. The last laugh occurred over a bible reference clarification (20:4 sounds a lot like 24) by saying, "COLON" loudly.

Poop brings people together. Also there are slugs. That is all.

TK Helps

2010-12-09T18:39:00.002-05:00

What would Adrienne do?

2010-12-02T15:44:00.000-05:00

She's at the Dollar Store, picking out some classy items. Hark! An elderly lady tries to squeeze by her in the novelty candy isle. As Adrienne hugs the row of Wonka treats, aforementioned elderly lady says, "Oooh, that is SUCH a beautiful outfit! You look like you should be on a ranch herding sheep or something."

Adrienne's response is:

a) Awkward blinking

b) Nervous giggle

c) "Thank you...?"

d) Step on old lady's foot, accidentally.

A Note

2010-12-01T21:50:00.001-05:00

Dear Nate,

My "low tire" light went out.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Love,
Adrienne